Lonely.

I've noticed that a lot of my posts are very dreary these days.

I think I'm burnt out. running off of little to no fuel.

i think i'm lonely.

maybe that could explain why i have interest in someone whom i've never noticed before.

i don't think it means much.

probably just a side effect.

probably nothing.

i don't know why i'm lonely.

i should feel fulfilled. should feel loved always. by the Heavenly Father.

I want to stop being examined. judged. observed.

i want to just be babied.

just be allowed to just be there.

but sometimes... i feel like i'm competing. competing to get the best spot in every category.

i feel like.. people watch me waiting for me to trip. to fall over.

but i don't want to give them that satisfaction.

so i keep going. going. going.

but how much longer can i go?

why do i always want what i can't have??

why can't i be satisfied?

God....

I can't seem to find you these days.

Is there too much "me" in my life?

I can't seem to pinpoint my purpose. my direction.

I feel lost...

right now.

and i'm half worried to give everything...

because i'm afraid that i'll be left with nothing.

when right now.. i don't have much at all.

help me.

Your daughter.